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Is Friendship = Love ?

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Love Ladder has received similar emails before. So when Vivian sent an email similar to the subject we had encountered earlier, we decided to publish it.

Vivian faces a problem that is not so uncommon, very real and calls for a tough decision. The decision itself has to be very practical at it's base and upon it hinges the sentiments of not 1 or 2 but 3 individuals at the same time.

Vivian says she has developed a liking to a man she has known for a long time, is her best friend and is currently married. The status of her friend's marriage seems shaky and proceeding to an end. Vivian asks if it's morally right to reveal her true feelings for this friend of hers at this juncture of his troubled marriage.

Here is what she wrote to Love Ladder...

Sender's name : Vivian
Sender's Email : (hidden)
To : http://loveladder.blogspot.com
Hi There,
Well, I am writing since I am in a very very confused State now.......

I have been friends with a GUY from a very long time he is my best buddy and a person with whom I feel I can share any thing in my life ..... I was not sure but I started liking him more then a friend never spoke to him earlier coz we are from different caste... however some years back he got married and now I hear that his married life is in jeopardy and that he has decided to come out of it....

Now I am not sure if I should tell him how I feel about him or should I wait till he is completely separated... also if I tell him about my feelings I am afraid that I would ruin my Friendship with him which I would never want to happen...

GUYS......... PLEASE ADVICE ME ........


So here we have it - her anguish, her confusion.

Love Ladder speak :
"Dear Vivian, first things first - thank you for writing in and giving us this honor of trust. We appreciate it and pray this issue you face be resolved as soon as possible.

Assuming you are single, (if you are not, it's wise to limit yourself to be a friend in need.) know his marital status facts very clearly before you walk up to him to say your heart. Catching a man on a rebound is an uphill task. You may get the candy but no flavor.

See this as an opportunity to show your true friendship. Let some time pass by. If you think things are a bit steady with him then, let him know your true feelings. Once you have said it all in clear words, let it go at that. Let the ball remain in his court.
Lastly, Love ladder does not believe in caste-ism. Best of luck.
"


So...Love Ladder visitors - yes YOU, Once again, as you have helped others earlier, help Vivian get over her confusion and troubles.

Let us all join our hands and heads together and carve a way out for her. Let us all help Vivian move up the LADDER OF FRIENDSHIP & LOVE.

19 comments:

Ruks said...

Yes..this is a sensible advice.
I would suggest you go with your GUT.
If your instincts tell you to revel...do so. if you are very unsure give it some more time.

Anonymous said...

Hi he may need you as a friend right now. maybe not as a lover. And he has not even ended his marriage yet. also there are fights in all marriages. Maybe this is just a small one?
Be sure first.
Rajeev.

Nehal said...

This seems like a sound advice. he needs a friend now if he is going through a rough patch in his relation. so be a friend now and then after some time let him know of your feelings

Seema said...

Men always need women by their sides. Be there for him. It's ok. I think it's ok to tell him now. Who knows he may be looking for someone more than a friend now? Why not you then since you already know him very well?

Seema said...

And also I wanted to say for Love Ladder guys. My first time here. All you makers and keepers of Love Ladder...congrats - wonderful concept, good content, genuine help and great template. Keep up the good work.

RG said...

Love Ladder guys, Wish you all Happy Ganesotsav. I want you all to know that I am still bulky but I'm more confident now. I have also spoken to my wife and she is also very happy with my initiative and also she has assured me that she loves me very much. Thank you again guys.

And Vivian, things will be alright soon. Just have patience.
Rajeev.

ani_aset said...

i agree with what LL has advised here. She should stay friends and see how it goes

Anand said...

Hi Vivian, looking at it from your point of view, I think Seema may be right.

If he takes u as a best friend, he is supposed to understand u too. It's gotta be both ways, rite?

So maybe u should, instead of telling, ASK him instead. Ask him if he ever thought of you as...more than a friend. And according to what he replies...U can go forward. :-)

Anand said...

Ruks, well put.

Anand said...

Seema, Thanx a ton. Love Ladder appreciates your kind compliments. My pretty blogger friend (Imp's mom)and me control Love Ladder. On her behalf as well, thank you so much.

Appreciate your help as well. Sound advice.

Anshu said...

First of all ...Happy to know that our advice was of some use to u Rajeev...we r really happy for u...
Vivian...ya even i feel u shd wait for his problem to settle before u tell him what u feel.

Anonymous said...

Hi Guys,

Thanks a lot for all your suggestions...
Oh by the way LL I am single.....
I guess I should be giving him more time...

Well Anand I am not so sure if I am his best friend but yes he considers me special... but ya he means a lot to me........ I would like to see him happy in his life always......
by the way Anand thanks a lot for your suggestion.... I will definately ask him.... rather then building out a castel in the air...

Thanks a lot again to all the lovely people out there who took out some time for me,
GOD Bless you all... :)
Love
Vivian

workhard said...

Hi viv..

I personally think that u should give ur friend some time and space.. and like seema mentioned.. be there for him ... genuinely as a true friend.. let him confide in u.. but dont let any of ur feelings influence his decision about his marraige...

Marraige is a very sensitive issue.... let him decide what he wants from his marraige..

Only in time reveal.. how u feel about him..

Good luck...

workhard said...

Oh BTW.. i like Love Ladder's new look!!!!!!

Anand said...

Vivian, Ur welcome.
As a favor, we ask you to comment and advice others with your pearls of knowledge when they need help and suggestions. Keep Love ladder in your scanner and let your friends know about us.
Good luck and god bless.
On behalf of LL.

Anand said...

Thanx Wookie. The new look does look fine. :-)

Anand said...

Ani...thanx for the vote. Gud advice finds it's own followers.

ankita mehta said...

I completely agree with love ladder on this! Vivian time is the best healer!!!

Anand said...

Thanx for the support Ankita. :-)

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