Tweet Me - this post might help someone.
April was the month of Child Sexual Abuse Awareness. Loveladder was concerned and therefore played a tiny hand in it. We hope it reaches the masses in a more informed way.
This is another month though. We received a troubled email that instantly put us back into 'trouble in paradise' solving mode. Shahid asked questions that had him stumped and thinking.
Shahid told us the following: (Edited version since the email was lengthy)
Sender's name : Shahid
Sender's Email : [Hidden]
Referrer : http://loveladder.blogspot.com/2009/05/contact-me_01.html
I am 35, male and married since one year. I am highly educated but presently working in a temporary position. My wife is physically less attractive but educated and working. Her job is slightly better than mine at present.
Before marriage I had a few matrimonial offers of girls who were good looking. When the talks of our marriage were being finalized there were two proposals I had liked of good looking/educated girls but my parents said this girl (my present wife) is good for me. I sometimes feel bad that they refused the offers that I had liked. I keep thinking about this and therefore I am not able to give 100% to my relationship.
Adding to this, we live separately and meet only every other 2-3 months.
My in-laws are not very much educated. My in-laws repeatetdly force my wife to quit her job though I'm in favor of her working and progressing in her career. My in-laws keep commenting on my temporary job status. When I say something about this to my wife, she gets angry and we fight.
Now these fights are increasing. Most of the time our fights are due to interference of my in-laws.
My questions are:
* Is physical beauty important in marriage?
* How I can keep away from thoughts that I lost out on my early marriage proposals and are my parents to blamed?
* Should I take divorce from my wife and search for another suitable girl?
* How should I tackle the unnecessary interference of my in-laws?
* Should my wife quit her job and come with me?
Help me. Thanks.
Love Ladder Speak:
Dear Love Ladder visitors, we believe Shahid's questions reflect a common thought among those who have had arranged marriages. The New India progresses ahead in step with the new world with new thoughts and horizons, yet we somehow remain attached with the colors of an era that slowly fades. We still believe in arranged marriages and give it precedence in comparison to Love marriages.
It's finally on each one of us to decide. Let's try and answer Shahid's questions for he asks for our understanding, logic and help. Let's help him ease his mind and help him climb up the ladder of mind-peace.