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Showing posts with label Boyfriend trouble. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Boyfriend trouble. Show all posts

Are all guys heartless?

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[With help from Keymaker2k10 ]

Who doesn't have a heart? Who is an equivalent to a stone? What makes a person ruthless and why does a person switch the 'ignore' button on for some person?

Questions that have individualistic answers. Questions that are undefined, unanswered by the finest of the scientists of any age combined. A fact that clearly emerged though was that while men have brains that work in the logical way, independent of anything else, women have brains that work with the support of the heart.


Shruti wrote us a brief story of her want for someone that perhaps is a gist of the questions above. Her email was long. We tried making the long story short and yet it was a read. So have patience and read her woe. She wrote...

Sender's name : Shruti
Sender's Email : [Hidden]
Referrer : http://loveladder.blogspot.com/2009/05/contact-me_01.html

I have waited for a guy for almost 8 yrs now. 5 yrs ago I got an opportunity to tell him about what I feel for him. I started expecting a yes/no answer and one day I proposed to him. He said No and never called me after that.
Just 3 months later I called him up and asked him to forget everything else and at least continue being friends. He told me, “I don’t want to be friends with you-never ever”..n many other things like- “R u a beggar to beg for love n friendship?” He insulted me!! That was the day when I accepted the fact and moved on.

Suddenly, 3 months later, he comes to meet me with a gift asking many questions about my marriage plans to my family. I was perplexed and disgusted about this man. So I told him to get out.
Then I thought maybe he had started developing feelings for me, so I called him up and tried to apologize..but he wasn't interested in talking to me and it’s been countless years that I am just waiting and waiting for him. I have called him 10,000 times. LOVE is just a word. My feelings cannot be defined in words.

Just a week before I thought that maybe I should apply in the company where he works. But I got to know from one of his colleagues that he said "if she is waiting, let her wait. I DON’T CARE!!" Now this was a REAL SHOCK to me. After all what i gave him all these yrs was just love love n love and care ..care for his mom..worried for his mom..so much unconditional love and care that JUST CANNOT be defined in words..

What exactly should I do???? I want to get into his company. I want to get into a bigger company; to achieve and mark my own niche. I want to be THE NEXT POWERFUL LADY.. and I want to make him realize my worth.

Plzz everyone Its an earnest request..show me the way to my dreams, my aim. Tell me why guys disrespect Love? What is their mentality?? Will that time come when he'll realize my worth? Will he ever be sorry for the things he told to me and for me??

If you guys have ever loved someone plzz reply what exactly should I do?? Your motivation will give me a WAY.."


So you see? She wants to know a lot of things and she wants to know them straight. A clear case of a heartbreak. How do you mend a broken heart? Hmm..

Love Ladder Speak:
When there are a LOT of questions in mind, it's a given that all questions are born from one root cause 'nucleus question'. These questions, are therefore like a chain of balls attached to that one question. Once the root is answered, all others automatically fall into place.

Therefore, we will directly jump to the root cause question. Why did he ignore you?
Well, cause you are ignorant on playing the game of love, approach, proposal and tease when it comes to the opposite sex. You were either too fast, too hasty, too nice or too sticky. It doesn't work that way.

Well, it's been many years and as they say there are many fish in the pond. we understand that it will be difficult but we advice you to let the past be in the past, to forget him and move on. You will certainly find a good guy for yourself..provided you move on.
By your own words - we would like to see you as the next powerful lady. :)
Best of luck.
Love ladder.


People, we know the ladder of 'getting' a guy/gal. At least we think we do, don't we? Show Shruti how to climb the ladder of approach. Let's all help get her started.
Read On >> Are all guys heartless?

Q for this Quadrangle story...

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Pic for representational purposes only


"Women and wine, game and deceit, Make wants greater and wealth retreat."

When a teenager has female 'best' friends, he is on the curve of experimentation of various kinds. But what if it's a man of 32 and women of 28? Where does that lead to? The answer to that one maybe a bit tricky. Only circumstantial evidence could lead to the truth. That's exactly the dilemma Tanu here faces.

Tanu wrote to us explaining what's going on between a guy she knows and his 2 friends who are of the female kind. This 'buddiness' of theirs is a bit too close for comfort and quite open to be publicly judged.

Here's what she wrote to Love Ladder asking for advice:
[The original mail has been edited to keep the main points in focus.]

Hi,I am Tanu Yatish, 27 of age. I have been lurking in ur blog for some time. :-)

Here's the situation:
There's a guy, lets call him X [32 yrs old]. He's got 2 best friends [girls]. Let's call them Y & Z [both 28 yrs old].
Now, I don't like 'X' and have no intentions of being with him.

These 3 spend late nights, staying over, traveling together, buying expensive jewelery on birthdays etc. He spends 80% of his time with them, always in a better mood whenever they are around & they enjoy a strange kind of humor- it involves a lot of sexaphors. Apparently their families are comfortable with all this.

What he also does with one of the girls "Y" is constantly and secretly takes pictures of her and them together. He helped her move in to the same building & clean the apartment. He gets her laundry bills..etc. He also has a recording of her some silly sex simulating thing they tried on gym ball.

He lives alone. God forbid if anyone was to comment on these girls or speak of love between them he reacts very bitterly and becomes resentful without showing it. There's no sex between them. He says other girls are not interested in him because these two girls are gorgeous.

He tends to make fun of me indirectly whenever they are around. He always says he can't commit, get married, surrender blah blah.. doesn't have much interest for a relationship either. Now "Y" is getting engaged and he still wants to hang on. And I am planning to get engaged in a few months too.

My questions to you are:
1) Do u think he's hung up (overly pre-occupied) on this girl "y"?
2) What do u think he's trying with me? (I think he's just honing his craft & not being sincere. He seems to be genuine only with these two girls not with others)
3) He's not a good boy friend material for any girl, is he?
4) why do men prefer marrying/being in relationship with women younger to them?

Plz share what u think. Take care bye. Thanks.


So that was Tanu. You heard her. This is no love triangle..it's a quadr-angle...or quadruple if you like it. We need to clear this one for sure for her since this happens with everybody one time or the other..in various different ways and in different levels.

Love Ladder speak:
Hi Tanu,
Thank you for your mail. We appreciate it.

Quite evidently X, Y and Z, all 3 of them are separate, unattached individuals. All 3 of them are taking secret advantage of each other for their own purposes (read timepass).

If you are looking for answers only generally, we advice you to just walk up to him straight up and ask. If he gets rude, he's not much of a friend, is he? Moreover, since you aren't interested in him romantically and vice-versa, we don't think there should be much of a worry, rite?

Lastly, remember - you can never force love. Be wise and more importantly be mature.
Best of luck. God Bless.
Love ladder.


Love Ladder Visitors.....It's now your turn to help the lady in question. Your advices weigh much in her mind. Take time out and help her. She needs your opinions. Let's all of us think this out and help her move up the ladder of Clarity and Happiness !!
Read On >> Q for this Quadrangle story...

To stay or move on - that is the question.

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[By Aniruddha Pathak for Love Ladder]

Sometimes we don’t know as to how far one should forgive someone, and when one needs to move on with life.
Resha is a 26 year old female from Gujarat. She has a flirty boyfriend and now she’s contemplating if she should move on or give him just one more chance.

Here’s what she wrote to us :

Sender's Name : Resha
Sender's Email : [hidden]
Referrer : http://loveladder.blogspot.com/2009/05/contact-me_01.html

Hi, I'm Resha, 26/f from Guj. First of all, Love Ladder is a wonderful site. I loved it.
Ok, my issue is this - I have a boyfriend and I want to break up with him. The reason is that he is just too flirty and though we had fights over that lots of times, he just doesn't stop. And I have forgiven him twice before on the same issue. So now I avoid him completely but he now pleads and cries for me to be with him. He has even promised to be as I want him to be and says he can't live without me etc.. But I'm not sure. I'm fed up. So I don't really know what to do.
Should I drop him? Or should I give him one last chance? Plz advice. Thank you.
Resha.
ps: Plz fgive, I'm not disclosing my email id. Wish you a happy new year and lots of luck.



So, that's Resha and her voice in words.

The issue appears simple, but only ones who are going through it will realize the pain of letting go of someone they have loved for a long time. Let’s try and see if we can work out a way for Resha to handle this one with minimum of pain.

Love ladder speak:
Dear Resha,
Thank you for writing in and sharing the issue with us.
We assume that you love this guy a lot, because you have already forgiven him twice for his mistakes.
Love is a beautiful feeling, but only till the point where each partner is making equal efforts to work on the relationship. You seem to have made your bit in trying to make this relationship work.
It must be hard for you to break up and move on. However, what you need to look at is whether the change you plan to see in your boyfriend is actually possible to be made? The trait that you mentioned above (flirty) is not so difficult to change. But if you cannot accept him the way he is, make your decision.
However, you might still want to give him just one last chance since we believe in positivity and the maxim - 'third time lucky'. Move on with life though, if he still falters. Be firm and confident of yourself, as that is the thing which will help you overcome this phase.
Best of luck Resha,
Loveladder.


Well, dear Love Ladder visitors, it's now YOUR TURN to let those precious advices of yours to come through and let the rays of hope shine on Resha. Advice her, make suggestions with the intentions of bringing two hearts together. The world is already full of regrets, fights, war and hate. Let this relationship at least step on our words of guidance so it can climb the ladder of LOVE. :-)
Read On >> To stay or move on - that is the question.

Boyfriend apprehension - first call for help

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OK, so we have our first 'call for help and advice' at hand and there's a needy lady behind it.

This comes from a friend of mine who happend to visit "Love Ladder" and appreciated the idea behind it.

The "love Ladder" idea is simple :
It's not about me. It's all about YOU. "Love Ladder" encourages you to ask a question to the free world (Blog Readers) and expect answers in the form of advices and help.

A question regarding a problem that u face currently,
About something that is troubling you rite now,
Or something that is just too large for you to fathom or understand.
A question straight from your heart.

You have a choice to remain anonymous or reveal your identity. And EVERYONE who visits this blog is invited to advice / suggest and help.
This would be the love they share for ...and shower on... you.

"Love Ladder" revolves around the idea and the fact that "It's always great to have more heads than one trying to solve a problem." The chances of solving it increases according to the number of heads tackling it.
SImple ! I hope the idea seems clear.
.
.
.
So, this female friend of mine wanted me to put an issue she faces here...on her behalf. so here it is.

"Hi, My name is Protima, 26/F from Mumbai. Other than that, I choose to be anonymous. I'm not really troubled. I just have a simple question. And I would appreciate it if anyone can tell me how to go about it.
I'm having an affair with a guy and carrying on with him. We work in the same office.

I'm not the jealous kind but he has recently started taking interest in one of our colleagues, who is actually close to me and we are usually always together like freinds. His interest is like too much lately. And when I ask him about it, he says that my friend is quite funny and great to talk with and that I should relax, he is just friends with her and nothing else.
They laugh and joke a lot and to be honest, I really have not seen any hanky panky between them.

The problem is...I'm afraid, if this goes on...I might get side tracked. And I don't seem to have any idea on how to deal with it. Can anybody advice plz ? Haven't told this to anybody personally. Thank you."



So this is it. You heard her.

My word to my troubled friend, "I am by no means an expert on this and I would have only a little idea on how to deal with this......BUT, I'M CONFIDENT - the people who read this blog would have some advices for you for sure. You got invisible angels all around to help. Smile." ;-)

Arright....so everybody, Protima's asking for our help. Let's help her MOVE UP the LADDER OF LOVE.
Read On >> Boyfriend apprehension - first call for help

What the heck is Love, dude???

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The mystery of mysteries,
The history of histories,
The history of mysteries and
the mystery of history.

What is Love ? Wot the hell is it ?
Ya, a lot of people have written a lot of things about it but.....

Not a single explanation that satisfies the soul,
Not a single word that would make me - make love promote,
No reason that would make me sighhhh with a smile on my face..
and no sign to make me want to find it in haste.

What is love?? I don't want to be left untouched.

Is there anyone who can explain ??
Is this even real or merely a word to make people feel insane?
Read On >> What the heck is Love, dude???