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[By Aniruddha Pathak for Love Ladder]

Sometimes we don’t know as to how far one should forgive someone, and when one needs to move on with life.
Resha is a 26 year old female from Gujarat. She has a flirty boyfriend and now she’s contemplating if she should move on or give him just one more chance.

Here’s what she wrote to us :

Sender's Name : Resha
Sender's Email : [hidden]
Referrer : http://loveladder.blogspot.com/2009/05/contact-me_01.html

Hi, I'm Resha, 26/f from Guj. First of all, Love Ladder is a wonderful site. I loved it.
Ok, my issue is this - I have a boyfriend and I want to break up with him. The reason is that he is just too flirty and though we had fights over that lots of times, he just doesn't stop. And I have forgiven him twice before on the same issue. So now I avoid him completely but he now pleads and cries for me to be with him. He has even promised to be as I want him to be and says he can't live without me etc.. But I'm not sure. I'm fed up. So I don't really know what to do.
Should I drop him? Or should I give him one last chance? Plz advice. Thank you.
ps: Plz fgive, I'm not disclosing my email id. Wish you a happy new year and lots of luck.

So, that's Resha and her voice in words.

The issue appears simple, but only ones who are going through it will realize the pain of letting go of someone they have loved for a long time. Let’s try and see if we can work out a way for Resha to handle this one with minimum of pain.

Love ladder speak:
Dear Resha,
Thank you for writing in and sharing the issue with us.
We assume that you love this guy a lot, because you have already forgiven him twice for his mistakes.
Love is a beautiful feeling, but only till the point where each partner is making equal efforts to work on the relationship. You seem to have made your bit in trying to make this relationship work.
It must be hard for you to break up and move on. However, what you need to look at is whether the change you plan to see in your boyfriend is actually possible to be made? The trait that you mentioned above (flirty) is not so difficult to change. But if you cannot accept him the way he is, make your decision.
However, you might still want to give him just one last chance since we believe in positivity and the maxim - 'third time lucky'. Move on with life though, if he still falters. Be firm and confident of yourself, as that is the thing which will help you overcome this phase.
Best of luck Resha,

Well, dear Love Ladder visitors, it's now YOUR TURN to let those precious advices of yours to come through and let the rays of hope shine on Resha. Advice her, make suggestions with the intentions of bringing two hearts together. The world is already full of regrets, fights, war and hate. Let this relationship at least step on our words of guidance so it can climb the ladder of LOVE. :-)


Sakshi said...

Aww am I first?

Doctor's Blog said...

Hello Resha,
Love is the most beautiful feeling on the earth , BUT never let it be your weakness!!!
Dont know since how long you are in relationship with him as you had to forgive him twice.
If its a shorter period of time than its not a good sign.
Anywayz if YOU really LOVE HIM than just give another chance but remain so firm that he knows that this is going to be the last chance for him!!
And if after this last chance, there is no chance of improvement than i would advice you to move ahead...life is long and very beautiful, indeed...just live your life!!
Wish you ALL THE BEST dear!!

ani_aset said...

@sakshi: would be nice to see your views on this topic :)
@doctor's blog: you are right in saying that resha should be firm about her last chance

Anand said...

Hey Sakshi, yea, U r the first one. Any thots on the issue on hand??

Anand said...

Doc, Ur rite, if it's a shorter period, it's not a gud sign.

Resha, Follow the Love Ladder advice. Im all for giving ur boyfriend one last chance. 2 times things get done by mistake, but the 3rd time, in all probability is intentional. Best of luck.

serendipity said...

Dear Resha
People never change! If you love this chap stop being a control freak..why do u want to change the person you fell in love with?
Women fall in love then strive all their life to change the guy they fell in love with.
Women marry a man to correct him and he doesnt change!
Men get married thinking the woman will not change and she does!
So make your decision and if u feel happy and light after that, its the right decision.It is Your Decision madame!

Imp's Mom said...

hey Reesha,

Love, the only emotion which can make u feel great and crappy... but love is not the only thing that keeps a relationship going. There's also trust, loyalty n respect.

Fliritng is an inherent quality...one can never stop...wht one can do is make sure its harmless, knw when n where to draw the line. Its clear ur insecure abt his flirting...now ideally he should make u feel emotionally secure. Its quite possible he has taken steps towards it... but yet...

And love is also accepting a person the way they are, warts included. :)

he might change, but u never knw in future he might not like who he has become...n might not like u too.

Good Luck!

p.s: Do come back and let us knw, wht u've decided.

ankita mehta said...

A person is responsible for his or her decisions! You love her a lot!!! "Break up" seems a simple word but "break up" of emotions is really difficult! Give him one golden chance, if he lives up to it, its great! otherwise, make sure that the decision does not break you up!! Have faith in your love and help your boyfriend in that golden chance!! Be optimistic!!! Be considerate too!!

Sakshi said...

Hmmm...I can never understand how begging comes in LOVE?? He flirts when he knows you don't like it and then begs you to keep him? Sounds like that Chris Brown chappy to me and I think if you have given him two chances already you have proven your patients and love for him. DUMP him right now and enjoy life :)

Andy I put my crazy ideas as a new year gift to one of my dear blogger friend as you know I don't think myself qualified to give serious talks :(

Anand said...

Ankita, Golden chance seems rite. But the que is..is that enuff really?? And will that really do the trick??

Anand said...

Sakshi...ur point of view is like the time that we are in now. Everything instant...devoid of any patience.
But u know..it makes complete sense. Resha, U mite wanna think about this seriously.

And hey, Noting crazy about it. In my mind and in my heart u r qualified for a lot of things. We all love u ya. :-)

ankita mehta said...

frankly speaking i hope it works but i doubt it in the hearts of my hearts!!! if it doesn't reesha should kick him out of her life right away!!!!! "gpl""" works and break free and sing that song: "chor bazaari do naino ki.........."! the lyrics allude to being happy after "break up"!
I shapat reesha if i would have been in your place i would have done it without any least inkling of doubt!!!!!!

Resha said...

Hello everyone,
Resha here.

Thank you all. Thank you all so much for your advices. Love Ladder, thank you so much. Truly something to think.

Sakshi, Doctor's Blog, Imp's Mom, Ani_aset, Ankita Mehta, Anand and Serendipity.....You all are so kind.

Love Ladder, thank you for your time for my little trouble. Thank you to your visitors for their time.

Everyone, I thought a lot about everyone's advices and finally I found Sakshi's advice the nearest to the step I should take and I have taken it.
I have finally told him to move on and I am moving on too. I wanted to do this actually, but I needed some support. So thank you Sakshi for your suggestion.
I am happy now.

Love Ladder, I will send you a personal mail too. Thank you LOVE LADDER. :-) This girl is happy because of you !!!

Happy girl,

Resha said...

Also, I will be telling my friends about you and if I have any more troubles, Im coming back to you for advices. :-)
I wish Love Ladder the best of luck in future.


Anand said...

Resha, That's just grt. I'm sure everyone is jus as happy as I am knowing how you have made a decision and that we were a tiny part in having you reach it.

We wish you luck and wish you to be happy always.

Anand said...

Aniruddha, well done.

Sakshi, your advice was followed. Now you better pray it works. :-)

Everyone who visited and commented - your contribution was priceless. A big hand for you all and hugs all around. Let there be a sense of achievement to everyone.

On behalf of Love Ladder...Well done everyone. :-)

ankita mehta said...

Reesha, I am very happy for you!! Enjoy!!

ani_aset said...

i'm sorry to not have followed the comments..got tied up..but seems like resha has made up her mind..lets wish her all the luck in life to stay happy going forward :)

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