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How to deal with a breakup ??

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Love Ladder received a mail that sounded desperate for answers and advice, though it contained no such words, cleverly concealing all emotions. This was a case of the lonely at heart after a break up.

Geeta sent a mail to Love Ladder asking for help describing the one problem that she has been going through for sometime now.

After editing this description a bit (read - removing some nice words regarding Love Ladder and it's concept).... here is what she wanted to ask.

I am Geeta Mishra, 25, from Mumbai, South. I'm going through a rough patch lately.

I had been going around with a guy since 5 years but had a break-up in March his year. It had been from both sides. But now the thing is I'm unable to cope up with the break up. I realize this is since my relationship had been for a long time.

He has now flown out of India. I'm a strong person but for some reason this has been disturbing me. My job keeps me busy yet I'm not able to concentrate on things. He is still in my mind always though I really do want to forget him.

I just want to know how I can deal with this. Is there anything I can do? Plz advice.

Thank you.

So this is it. You heard her.

My word to Geeta, "Hi Geeta, thank you for writing in. Have patience. I am by no means an expert on this and I would have only a little idea on how to deal with it......BUT, I'M CONFIDENT - Love Ladder visitors will have some great advices for you for sure. You got invisible angels all around to help. Smile." ;-)

Arright....so everybody, Geeta's asking for our sincere help. Let's help her out of her mysery and help her MOVE UP the LADDER OF INNER-FREEDOM.


Imp's Mom said...

well what I'm gonna say is going to sound cliched, but it works... try something new, dancing, swimming, aerobics or the gym...get a new wardrobe..image makeover....

go out with a different set of friends, friends that u don't share...would help even more if the friends didn't like him...

if possible get a change of location...think of why u guys decided to call it off..good if it still makes sense, if it doesn't, do a rethink!...

Good Luck Geetha!

workhard said...

Hi Geeta.. Hope u doing ok.. Imp is right.. keep ur self busy all the time.. If you have really good friends just for a few days go stay over at their place.. that way u can keep company even at nite..

U can get by during the days.. but the nights will get u.. i know.... thats what helped me.. company of really good friends.. day and nite..

Hope u pull yourself out of this...

Take care

Anand said...

HI Geeta, best way to do it.....LEARN something new. This probably is the right time to...like learning to play the guitar etc AND make yourself available to be asked out again. Time for u to check out other people as well.
Best of luck.

workhard said...

I think Andy.. u should give her some time.. if she goes out immediately.. it ll be more like a rebound.. In my opinion, u should take time for urself.. if you brokeup in March, then this is so soon... to be dating someone...
But then again Geeta, thats your choice if you ready....thats important
Cheers girl.. take care

workhard said...

Give urself some time and definitely you ll get over him and in no time you ll be ready to move on... :)

Imp's Mom said...

Time is a healing factor, and try the ExDetox too :-)

Tanvi said...

U know what Geeta? I wud suggest you read through this link...I think u just might get ur answers...


Imp's Mom said...

hey tanvi, I don't understand how a post on the stages a relationship goes through will help geeta get over her Ex? what did I miss?

Anshu said...

Hi geeta...i think imp and woo do make sense...give time for urself..do things that u like to do and want to do..travel to a new place, make new frnds, and also cry if u feel like..this will help u come out of it as early as poss...dont keep controlling urself.

Tanvi said...

Hey impie...If u read the stages #8 to #10...It gives her a way to rebound from the break up..By the way, thanks for asking me the question. I guess I should have been more clearer.

Anand said...

HI Geeta, how bout sharing with these wonderful people and me on how u coping up with the issue u faced? Did Love Ladder made any difference at all in your life?
DId the advice of Ladder visitors help? We all await to know.

Anonymous said...

Hi all and Anand, I have been reading the comments everyday. Somedays many times. Sorry I could not reply sooner.

- Geeta

Anonymous said...

Imp's mom - I am going according to what you said. I am trying different sets of friends now. Friends that don't know anything about my problem. I think it will help. Thank you so much.

- Geeta

Anonymous said...

Workhard - You are right. Nights are difficult but it is ok now as time is going. You are right, I am giving it time. Thank you a lot.

Tanvi - I read your link. Yes, I knew of the stages. Thank you so much.

Anonymous said...

Anshu - yes I am making new friends. And I don't cry that much. But I keep feeling worse. But not now. It is healing slowly. I will travel if I get the chance. Thank you so much.

Anand - Sorry I wrote a little late. Love ladder has made a difference in my thinking. I know now that there are others who think like I do too. The advices so many helped me. I am going by some advices now. I am making new friends and will travel and do everything like such to get me off my problem.

I didn't want to tell my friends who I know will help me cuz I feel embarrassed. But this way, being helped by complete strangers is really a shock and soooo nice. Thank you Anand. A very nice and very helpful website really.

To everybody - Thank you all soo much from the bottom of my heart. I love you all. God bless.

- Geeta

workhard said...

Hey Geeta. Nice to know u doing fine...In time u ll definitely get better..

Cheers :)

Imp's Mom said...

Hey Geeta, great to know we could all help you and that it is working!

Time is a great healer... u'll be fine soon, u'll see..


Rose said...

I only just read this and I can imagine how rough it must have been for you Geeta.
My advice is this. You've probably spent a good part of 5 years with him, being 'with someone'. Perhaps you've forgotten how nice it is to just be 'you' for a while. I agree, you should try something new. Try LOTS of new stuff and you'll see, you'll zone in on something that makes you deliriously happy. Hang out with friends who make you smile, whom you know truly care about you. And it won't just be the ones who let you cry, it'll be those who convince you to go out for an ice-crema after the bawling. :)
Every storm sees the light of day. Like everything else, this too, will pass and you'll emerge much stronger tomorrow than you feel today. Gods speed!!

Anshu said...

Hi Geeta , happy to know that u r feeling better now and that our advice was of some use to u...I am sure u will come out of this soon.try reading books or do some meditation too, this really gives peace of mind.All the best.

ARUNA said...

If i'm not late i'll tell u one thing Geeta.....if the love for each other was genuine in the past and if u r still missing him....there's a possibility that the feeling might b mutual, 5yrs is a long term u know!!!

As everyone advised, just divert urself from all the emotions, i know its very hard but sometimes its for ur own good,something better might b ur way!

But hey i strongly believe if u both r meant to b together, nothing can stop it...sounding weird isn't it but its an experience...not mine personally but someone else!

U will have a happy ending, that is wat i have to say.

Anonymous said...

Hi Imp's mom, thank you really.

Hello Rose, I will be trying LOTS of free stuff now. :) I promise. Thank you so much. really.


Anonymous said...

Hi Anshu, Yes I will. Im not that weak as it looks actually.

Hi Aruna, I know but now I think i just want to leave the past behind. I do not want to see it now. Does not matter what happens.

BUt Thank you both of you so much.


Imp's Mom said...

awww... geetha your most welcome!

Anand said...

Guys, a BIG THANK YOU you to everyone for helping Geeta with your advices and guiding ways.

Geeta, Hope Love Ladder genuinely helped u. I wish you luck ahead. :-)


Anshu said...

U r welcome Geetha... and I know grls r strong and can handle any situation. All the best in life.

Anonymous said...

Geeta, The very fact that you posted your dilemma here means that your heart and mind want to be free. So do yourself a favor and live happily. Seriously, it's not worth it to spend precious moments of YOUR LIFE thinking about someone, who is obviously not right for you (and I say this coz your breakup was mutual). How about having some girlfriend's time. So prepare your mind, to forget the past and get on with the future, the future is all yours and you can mold it whichever way you want. As Imp's mom suggested, take up new activities and friends, that really helps and whenever you are ready, you can always sort out your real friends. Good luck and use your girl power.

ankita mehta said...

well geeta the solution is hidden in the loveladder's punchline with a few changes-" Move up the ladder of life and gain inner freedom". God has a plan for you! He is writing the best love story for u!!

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